How do you teach a 4-year-old that they are a sinner?

During a recent meeting about the religion curriculum, we the Kindergarten educators talked about ways to teach kids about Jesus. The religion teaching resource program that is provided for us (The only one approved by the Ontario government) doesn’t address the Bible’s old testament. It covers the story of creation and then skips ahead to the nativity.

The question for us is whether to try to teach the old testament narrative in our classes. Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable trying to teach a lot of those stories to 3, 4, and 5 year olds. I would do it if I had to, but the government isn’t giving a clear directive on that. It is up to me to decide whether or not I want to try to unpack that part of the Bible with the students.

On that same day we had another meeting about racism. We heard from an expert in the field who said that, like sex, it is better to talk to kids about racism, even if you don’t do the best job of it. If you don’t talk about it at all, then the kids will get all their information from peers or the internet. So, even though we are not experts, it is better to at least attempt to tackle the subject than it is to avoid it altogether.

That leads me to the topic of sin. A few years ago, while trying to teach my kinder class about Jesus, a little girl put up her hand and said, “Jesus died for our sins.” My approach, up until that point, had been to present Jesus as a model for God’s love. “Jesus came to tell us how much God loves us, and to show us how to live the best way.” Was what I said (more or less). But for many Christians, the most important part of Jesus’ life was his death. “Jesus died for our sins.” But I ask myself, what does that mean in Kindergarten?

“You killed Jesus when you took magnet blocks from Michelle and Thomas!” Imagine that was what I told the students? I am not saying that Jesus didn’t die for our sins. I am saying that I do not understand exactly what I should teach Kindergarten students about that.

One of the criticisms of evangelical youth movements is that they instill guilt in young people. When teaching kids, there are inherent problems in the traditional idea that Jesus earned forgiveness for our sins through his death on the cross. If we needed Jesus to intervene and “pay the price” for us, then it means that we do not merit forgiveness on our own. Many evangelical movements are big on the idea of hell. But if the idea is that, on our own, without the intervention of Jesus, we would be going to hell for our sins, some critics ask what sins the youths in evangelical churches could commit, which would justify eternity in hell?

In my classroom I certainly see sin every day. But I don’t want to tell kids that their actions are enough to earn them an eternity in hell, or that they resulted in the death of Jesus. Sin is a part of everyday life, even in my life. I am not perfect. Teaching kindergarten holds a mirror up to my face and shows me all my imperfections. Sometimes I am too harsh with kids. Sometimes I am too lazy or uncaring, and I don’t help a kid as much as I should. Sometimes I am less than the ideal teammate.

Kindergarten is the one grade that always has two educators per class (as long as there are more than 15 students). There are a teacher and  an Early Childhood Educator. Overall, I have always had a good experience with my E.C.E. teaching partners. But, if I am being honest, I have not always treated them fairly. Sometimes I have asked too much of them. Or I have excluded them from the planning process, so that they have not been able to contribute as much as they could have.

I once had a regrettable “run in” with an E.C.E. partner. It was near the beginning of the year. We were trying to figure out, on the fly, how to arrange our days. There had been some changes to the recess times, and we were both trying to figure out how to fit everything that we wanted to do into the day. I was consulting other teachers who had the same schedule, but my partner felt like she was being left out of the process. Communication between us broke down, and pretty much everything else went down the drain with it. We were both frustrated. But I do not like confrontations, so I let it fester. By the time I finally broke the silence, I had held my frustrations in for too long. I was too emotionally charged when I finally talked to her. I kind of blew-up. It was like a one directional blast. I don’t regret the basics of what I said, but I certainly regret how I said it.

Things were awkward after that. I experienced a lot of guilt. I was trying to make things right, but it was hard to even look her in the eye. Then one day while patrolling the yard I thought about Jesus, and I experienced his presence in my heart. (In retrospect I realized that my guilt and pain made me more open to him.) When I felt his presence in my heart, I was pacified. I felt completely loved and safe. I realized the truth in the Gospel passage where Jesus is quoted as saying “I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:32) In that moment I was actually grateful for everything that had brought me to that vulnerable state of being a sinner, called by Jesus.  

I think everyone knows that kind and generous actions, and good clean-living lead to increased happiness. There are those who deny the truth but, in general, I think that most people know that if you are nice to everyone, everyone is nice to you. If you are unselfish in life, your needs get taken care of. And, if you are kind to your body, then you will wake up feeling good in the morning. But God is in every aspect of human existence, and he does not reserve his grace only for the people who do everything right all the time. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is quoted as saying “he (God) makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45)

I generally try my best to be a good human being, but sometimes I fail. The blow up with the E.C.E. was a failure on my part. I could have been kinder and more sensitive to her from the beginning. I could have spent more time examining my conscience. If I had, I would have realized the role of my pride and ego in the situation. I could have planned out a proper conversation and practiced it so that my tone was better. Either way, I could have done better. And, if I could see that, then Jesus could see that as well. But if Jesus knows that I could have done better, why did he comfort and reassure me after I failed?

Jesus did what good educators do for kids: give them a way forward. Jesus gave me a way forward from the pain and awkwardness of having hurt a friend. My heart hurts when I hurt someone else. I am sure that everyone’s does, more or less. Jesus had compassion on me, a repentant sinner with a hurting heart. He came to me to lift me up, soothe my heart, and help me go forward and work towards a better future with the E.C.E.

Good educators know that it is not enough to just tell students what to do. You need to give them opportunities to put things into practice. They need immediate feedback. And, sometimes, they need one-to-one help. God gave us lots of scriptures telling us what to do, and he gives us wisdom figures as examples. Our day-to-day lives are our opportunity to practice. Our families, friends, co-workers, and people we run into daily provide immediate feedback. And, when we need it, Jesus provides one-to-one help. Those moments end up being the sweetest. The experience of Jesus, one-to-one, is what all the mystics sang and wrote about. It is an indescribable sweetness. It is paradoxical that I experienced it when I screwed up instead of when I did everything right. But Jesus did say that he came to call sinners.

What does all this mean for evangelical youth movements? Good question.

One of the priests in my former religious order used to say that we can’t fully understand the mechanism of salvation. We can’t fully understand Jesus, and why he did what he did. But he said, “Something happened on that cross, and the world was forever different after.” Personally, I do not think it was about Jesus erasing the karmic guilt of our actions. When I screwed up, I didn’t need Jesus to drop a note from the sky saying, “It’s o.k., I died on the cross so that you can still go to heaven even though you were a jerk to your E.C.E.” That wouldn’t satisfy me because, in my heart, I still want to do better. I don’t want forgiveness for being a jerk, I want to stop being a jerk. I want to be transformed into a better person. The greatness of Jesus is that he forgives us for being who we are now, and he transforms us into something deeper, fuller, and greater.

But all Christians (myself included) should be careful not to think that they have all the answers or, worse yet, that some rich evangelical preacher (or poor blogger) has all the answers. We need to leave room for God’s grace in our lives. The more room, the better.